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want to know a secret? most nights, after i tuck my kids to bed, i take my dog on a walk. we run as fast as we can to the end of my street. i feel like a kid sneaking out and i can’t help but smile big. we come to the wash, the stars are bright and the air feels free, and i am met with a particular feeling i can’t put into words. as i meet that feeling there, my 19 year old self, my 14 year old self, and my 10 year old self join me. and sometimes… we dance. my ego tries to te

i could almost hear it audibly… “no one is coming to save you. get up. get up…” for two weeks i didnt know if i could pry myself from the safety of gaia’s arms and i surely didn’t think i would rise like a phoenix when i could barely get my legs to hold the weight of my body. the grief felt fossilized in my bones and i wasnt sure it was something that was ever going to go away. the death of my dad opened the floodgates of grief so old it lay dusty and dry on all the dark corn